It once was that any hopeless American man—no matter exactly how fat, bald, or ugly—could journey to Moscow and return to Topeka with a trophy wife that is gorgeous.

It once was that any hopeless American man—no matter exactly how fat, bald, or ugly—could journey to Moscow and return to Topeka with a trophy wife that is gorgeous. But because of a booming Putin-era economy—and all the prosperity and gold-plated Land Rovers that include it—the times of the grateful Russian bride are fading fast it’s 6:30 p.m., and everybody…

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